Thursday, January 20, 2005


Today mostly focused on our oldest child at school. It became a huge issue with us in discipline and fair treatment. I just couldn't come up with a good title for this post.

About 11 am, we receive a phone call from our oldest child from school. He is in 5th grade and will be going to middle school next year. Anyway, it seems he was playing flag football in PE today. In the course of the game, he grabbed the flag of another child, then somehow he and the other child got into a scuffle. He is now asked to apologize to the other child and he was calling because he did not feel that he should have to apologize since he did nothing wrong. The other child apologized, but he didn't. This is where things got a little questionable.

Our youngest child has ADHD, he has behavior problems and it has become a major issue at school to the point that he might be attending alternative school. All that asside, he will be put in 'in-school suspension' for having physical contact with another child. Now, the other child that our oldest scuffled with, is not being punished, except for being told to apologize. We found out after talking with the oldest, that this is the same child that harrassed our youngest on the bus to school. This child has also been calling our kids 'retarted' and other names. This child has only been in this school for only 5 months now. Our oldest has been at this school now for four years without any incidents and is known that he is not a trouble maker. The other child, on the other hand, is a known trouble maker and has a reputation, yet neither of these facts are taken into considration at the time of the scuffle. We have also found that our child has a mark on his face from the other hitting him. That is where my wife and I draw the line. In a domestic dispute, when the police are called, they take the story from each person involved and then check for injuries. If someone has an injury and the other does not, the other will be taken away, no if's, and's or but's about it.

Our oldest child now says that he doesn't feel safe. This child lives in the same apartment complex that we do, so he will not be able to avoid this child. "He is everywhere, at home, at school, on the bus." He feels safe in the classroom, but in PE or recess, he feels very unsafe. It's seems to be a bully situation and the school doesn't seem to know how to handle this type of occurence.

They are going to talk to the other children that were present playing the game. They will also talk to the coaches present and what they saw and was explained to them. If they were to suspend both my child and the other one as well, I would feel better about this, but when nothing happens but an apology, I have a problem. Especially when my youngest displays the same kind of behavior, the book is thrown at him and alternative school is threatened.

Oh, and then the statment was made, "If he knows that this child is a trouble maker, why did he take his flag? Why didn't he avoid the other child and go after someone else?" At this point, after talking with the teachers, principal and our child, we found out that the other child was bending down to help another child that had fallen down. Since he was helping another child, he felt that he was out of the game at that time. So, he was an easy target in our child's mind. Why would he be thinking that this child is a troublemaker when he is running around and sees an easy target? So, you want to blame the child for his actions and treat him as an adult that thinks on his feet. I thought that the statement "If he knows that this child is a trouble maker, why did he take his flag" was an ingnorant statement.

Needless to say, this was a very stressful day for both my wife and I. My condition does not bode well with stress and I can start having an asthma attack the more stress I have. Fortunately, that did not happen, but I am tired after all that. We may be overreacting somewhat, but we are thinking about homeschooling our children.

If anyone has any resources or experience with homeschooling, please comment or email me here. Thanks in advance for your help in this matter. It is appreciated.

I'm done